I reached my hand down into the depths of the bargain DVD bin at Walmart.  It was a dangerous risk to take, praying to God I didn’t pull out a gem like Human Centipede.  Fortunately I didn’t, in fact I grabbed a decently entertaining double feature starring Kurt Russell.

Executive Decision:

“Executive Decision” is your typical “terrorists on a plane” movie.  I like to describe it as a cheesy 1996 version of the TV show “24″.  It starts with some pretty awesome commandos trying to grab a dangerous DZ-5 nerve gas that could kill millions of people.  The beginning scene was action packed, so the movie looked pretty promising.  After this scene it transitions to Kurt Russell, a dude who works for the government as an analyst, taking flying lessons.  When you know the story involves terrorists on a plane, you can probably guess that Kurt Russell will do some heroic flying related thing towards the endSuddenly there is a poorly executed and random transition (in slow motion for some nonsensical reason) to priests firing AK-47s, and some other act of terrorism.  Turns out the nerve gas bomb has been moved onto a commercial airline. (the movie doesn’t go into detail on how a giant friggin bomb was placed on a plane, it’s just there, don’t question it)  The terrorists were armed to the teeth with guns–wait how did they get through airport security?  Well, the guns were conveniently placed all over the plane when they got there.  I don’t know why terrorists nowadays don’t just conjure up weapons from kitchen cabinets to hijack planes. (I like to think that these terrorists were probably wizards)  When the government gets wind that terrorists have hijacked a 747 and have a nerve gas bomb, they use a stealth craft to board the commandos (shown in the first scene of the movie) and Kurt Russell (recruited to identify the leader of this terrorist group) onto the commercial airline.  This is where the movie got sssssllllllooooowwww.  It’s basically an hour of prepping for an attack on the terrorists, before the president orders the plane be shot down. (they took their sweet time before saving everyone)  I was having trouble keeping myself awake until the last 30 minutes of the movie.  Halle Berry was an attractive flight attendant who helped the commandos out a few times, so of course she wasn’t allowed to die.  The guy who was supposed to shut the bomb gets hurt so it takes an expected turn to him having to shut off the bomb while handicapped.  Movies don’t typically end on the bombs going off, everyone dying (including the underdog hero), and the terrorists winning.  I’m not going to tell you how it ends, but you already know.  After all the horribleness and action, the movie’s ending song lightens the mood by playing some cheerful Frank Sinatra song.  This is a movie you catch on TV on a Saturday when you have literally nothing else to do.  This is a pretty long movie, and it gets slow.  It’s entertaining, but there are tons of these kind of movies out there that are much better.  It’s very predictable, decently entertaining, but don’t go out and buy it.  Rent it or watch it on TV, or just watch “24″ to get your counter terrorism fix.

Unlawful Entry:

This film was a total creepfest.  It starts with Kurt Russell (whose hair is seriously pushing Conan O’Brien territory) and his wife getting their house broken into and the wife’s life being threatened.  The cops get called after the ordeal, and of course one of the cops, starts eyeing KR’s wife.  Ray Liotta plays this super nice and genuine cop, who you know is a great guy and just wants to help.  If you thought that, then you probably didn’t recognize the fact that this guy just looks like a creep to begin with:

The movie is more about his downward spiral into becoming a complete psycho more than it is about Kurt Russell’s role.  Russell starts catching onto this cop’s motives when he starts showing up all over the place and basically stalking the couple saying that he is just making sure they are safe.  The wife takes a little longer to catch on to all of this, but pretty much figures it out when the cop shows up while her and Kurt Russell are having sex….in the privacy of their own bedroom.  (there’s a couple adult situations in this movie, so don’t let your kids watch this, there’s also a fair bit of violence and language.)  After that little incident, the police officer’s full evil transformation is symbolized by him taking a slow motion shower.  That’s when you know things are about to get real.  When Russell confronts the man, the crooked cop uses all his magic cop powers to give him tons of parking tickets, boot his car, cancel his credit cards (which I didn’t realize cops could do), and frame him for drugs.  While good ol’ Russ in jail, the cop decides to show up at the very upset wife’s house and cook her a meal to cheer her up.  What a nice guy.  Oh yeah, then he tells her to go put on something pretty so he can have his way with her.  Do movies ever end with the psycho taking the good guy’s wife, and living happily ever after?  Seriously, if you were hoping for an unpredictable ending, you are watching the wrong movie.  However, the end is the whole reason you watch the movie.  Throughout the movie you are watching Kurt Russell boiling with rage, so you are just waiting for the final fight scene.  It does not disappoint.  Dudes are getting hit with frying pans, broken glass, fists, and getting shot at.  It’s pretty crazy.  All the while, the home alarm is going off, but it takes until right after the last fight until the cops show up.  Convenient timing.  This movie is creepy.  This movie is suspenseful.  Somehow though, the makers did a good job of making it creepy and suspenseful even though you know how it’s going to end.  It’s a pretty decently entertaining movie, but again, don’t buy it.  Rent it or something.  Also keep it mind, there is some nudity, quite a bit of cursing, and violence…so watch out for that.

This collection wasn’t the worst thing I could have grabbed out of the DVD bin, so I was a pleased to be able to watch a couple of decently enjoyable movies.  Kurt Russell is also a pretty good actor in both of these films, but he’s not really the main focus in Unlawful Entry.  Out of the two, the weirdo cop one was the best.  It wasn’t too long, and it was creepy like it was supposed to be.  It had kind of a Red Eye vibe to it.

Who knows what I’ll get to review next?

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